A Recap of Recent News

I'm sorry, I've been slacking off. So, let's do a quick rundown of what I missed out on. This will
be an opinion piece.

January 31, 2007; a day which will live in Boston infamy. We learned that light brites are enough to paralyze a city's highways, water ways, and subways. While some people have scoffed at Boston's reaction to the Turner Broadcasting marketing campaign for Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I, however, feel that the city's response was very appropriate. In a post 9/11 world it is irresponsible to perform such a stunt in a major city without informing local officials ahead of

time.

As for the two people that put up the light up signs, I was compassionate for them at first. They were just these two people hired to do Turner's bidding. Then they acted like morons. So, I've concluded that they are terrorists and they should be locked up for good.

In the end, no one was hurt. Boston got $2 million.

Moving on.....

It has snowed in up state New York. In many towns over 100 inches has fallen. According to Stephen Colbert "New York got so much snow that some of the snowflakes are the same."

I want to know why Boston has had less than 2 inches this winter. I'm looking forward to a possible half a foot of snow on Wednesday.

Next!

"Astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak was arrested this week and charged with attempted murder after driving 900 miles from Houston to Orlando, Fla., allegedly carrying a knife, a BB gun, pepper spray, latex gloves and rubber tubing--wearing a diaper all the while so she wouldn't have to stop en route--and assaulting a romantic rival in a parking lot." - TIME

Wow...

I think NASA seriously needs to examine is psychological reviews for it's astronauts.

Finally....

Anna Nicole Smith died on February 8th at the age of 39. No one seems to know what caused the former Playmate's sudden death. There is now a battle over who the father of Smith's infant daughter is. It is becoming more comical by the day. A lawyer, a photographer, and Zsa Zsa's husband have claimed to be the father. Now there's speculation that Smith's husband had frozen his sperm before he died and that he may actually be the child's father.

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. I'm the father. I'd also like to take this time to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America.

So.....

That is what was in the news while I was busy slacking off. I apologize.....for the news, not my slacking.