This Means War!

This is an opinion piece.

It has been noted by conservative groups that there is a secret conspiracy in the world. A secret threat to our very existence. A threat so deadly and frightening that people break out into hysterics at the mention of it. I am speaking of course, about the War on Christmas.

You read it right. I said the War on Christmas. Can you believe that? To think that there are people out there who actually believe that there is a conspiracy against Christmas and Christianity...

Cut to Fox News (where else?). We see the usual "Fair and Balanced" stories followed up by the usual grumpy, irretable, angry, sad, sad, man Bill O'Reilly. O'Reilly believes in his heart (if he had one) that there is an attack on Christmas.

Here is part of the transcript from The O'Reilly Factor from November 2005. Bill is interviewing John Gibson, a Fox News host and now author of The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought Yeah, I know the title needs some work.

Here's where I got the transcript: Media Matters
GIBSON: -- by refusing to say the word "Christmas." And what I've noticed is the way this appears in schools, for instance, is we now don't call it the Christmas break. It's the winter break, as if people worship winter. And there wouldn't be a winter break if there wasn't Christmas at that time of year. So once you call it -- change the name. You won't use the word "Christmas," then you go to "winter," you can sort of push the Christmas thing out of public view.

O'REILLY: See, I think it's all part of the secular progressive agenda --

GIBSON: Absolutely.

O'REILLY: -- to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square. Because if you look at what happened in Western Europe and Canada, if you can get religion out, then you can pass secular progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, gay marriage, because the objection to those things is religious- based, usually.

GIBSON: You have France or you have -- or you have Holland, you have legalized prostitution, you have drugs. All those things come in which religious organizations tend to oppose. Once you start taking out even the secular symbols of religious holidays -- Christmas trees, Santas, so forth -- refuse to use the word "Christmas," you can shove this religious stuff indoors, out of sight.

O'REILLY: Yeah, because no kid is going to come home and ask Mom what winter break is.

GIBSON: No.

O'REILLY: But a kid might come home and say, "Hey, what's this Christmas thing all about? Who is this baby Jesus guy?" You know?

GIBSON: Right.

O'REILLY: So look, that's on a very intellectual level, and it's behind the scenes. But these retailers are killing -- they're shooting themselves. I mean, they're killing themselves, because millions of people are just not going to shop in these places.


Wow....who let them on TV? Who let John Gibson publish this book? Who really believes this stuff?! Do they really think that any child living in the cutlure of the United States of America will grow up and not know the name of Jesus Christ...especially if that child celebrates Christmas?!!? What the hell are they thinking?!

Let's take a look at the facts:

The American Family Association called for a boycott on Wal-Mart last year. Usually I would be thrilled with a Wal-Mart boycott, but it was over the retailer's decision to say "Happy Holidays". Wal-Mart still gained money last holiday season, and is still the largest, most profitable retailer in the world.

Type "Christmas" into a Traget.com product search and you'll find over 19,000 matches. They say "Happy Holidays" too!

Hundreds of radio stations nationwide have been playing Christmas music since Thanksgiving or earlier!

According to Adherents.com, over 76% of the United States' population is identified as Christian.

I'm amazed to hear about these poor persucuted Christians. God forbid they be forced to recognize the other 24% of the population that don't celebrate Christmas. Maybe someday, somewhere in the world there will be a Christian president...or maybe even 43 Christian presidents in a row. Give me a break! These people don't live in Rome, they're not being fed to lions. I can't walk down the streets of Boston without passing a church at least every other block! They just have to accept everyone for who they are and they don't wanna. So, they blame the Democrats and the liberals and cry about how their way of life is disappearing. Only its not.

I want to reveal now that I am on the "War on Christmas" Intelligence Committee. I've found something remarkable while spying on the conservatives. Those of them that believe that there really is a "War on Christmas" have no intelligence.